Hi everyone, Steve here!

This month I must begin with a sincere thank you to all those people who after reading my last blog, were compelled to get in touch some way, some how. Mostly I received text messages of support, but some people sent me emails. One such came from Carole Sicluna from Stats. Thank you Carole, it's much appreciated!

I was intrigued with the similes people brought between my situation and theirs, especially where dreams were mentioned. It never dawned on me for a moment that people would relate in such a way! Then again, why not? After all everyone dreams! I sometimes wonder what Freud would make of mine! In fact, it's as well he's gone cos trying to figure them out might have killed him off in any case!!!

Anyway, some of you will already know that Pauline and myself were invited to attend the Queen's garden party this year, courtesy of Greater Manchester Fire Service. The hotel we stayed in was really good, nothing was too much trouble for the staff and they even (on request) took us through the fire drill! Always check where your exits are especially if you can't move quickly! I thought the manager did a thorough job! Even going as far as to mention the intumescent strips in the doors (these live in the edge of fire doors to create a smoke seal in the event of a fire), Fire Service attendance time and how long you should have to wait in the stairwell before being rescued! The hotel that we stayed at was called The City Inn Westminster. We heartily recommend it and the food also!

On the day, the event was to begin at 1500 hrs with Queenie* making her appearance at 1600 hrs. (*Spot the Blackadder fan!). We thought we'd miss the big crush by turning up half an hour late, we were mistaken! There were 3 queues with 4 ranks in, making collectively between 7-8000 people which must have stretched about 1000 metres! Luckily the queues were moving fast! We went into and through Buckingham Palace and came out onto some wide stone steps. I then looked up to see hundreds of people staring, seemingly in my direction! It was quite daunting to walk down a flight of steps that everyone is staring up at and knowing that Queenie will be descending the same steps shortly. The people in the roped off area looked for all intents and purposes like cattle (which wasn't their fault of course) with everyone jostling to get a glimpse of Queenie! Now all that was left for me to do was to fall and make the biggest pillock of myself ever, ever! "Oh no you don't!" I said to myself, and got a tight grip on Pauline (lucky devil aren't I !) Then most carefully, descended the long flight of steps that led to the grassed area. I managed it! And so I saved the occasion to look a complete pillock for another time!

We then walked to the tents where they were serving food and drinks, and joined another orderly queue that had formed. Suddenly there was some commotion, and it became clear that Queenie was making her appearance! Everyone abandoned their place in the queue to go and see! Everyone but Pauline and myself that is! We just turned round and tried to catch a glimpse from where we stood, which was firmly at the back of the queue we'd just joined! I looked across to see a blue hat, I guess it was Queenie underneath it! But that was all there was to see of the Queen for the time we were there! They played the national anthem, and all stood silent to listen, then we turned back to find there was nobody in front of us in the queue anymore........ Great! Cheers Queenie!

When we approached the long tables that all the food was on, it was all canapes and cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off! It was all a bit too twee for the likes of me! But Pauline kinda liked it! And the drinks were the most watered down orange cordial in the smallest plastic cups I've ever seen! To add insult to injury, it was a really hot day and I'd not drank much, so I was really thirsty! I think I drank four or five cups before I felt ok. We then walked through the crowds of people to find ourselves stood near one of the two brass bands tents that were playing. They were playing all different types music and styles, ranging from the theme tune from "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" to "Against all Odds" by Phil Collins! It was really impressive stuff!

It was an A-1 place for people watching!!! Pauline was eyeing up all the ladies in their fine regalia and comparing it to hers - she spotted 3 other ladies with the same hat on - so she's not wearing that one again! There were a number of uniformed attendees (army, navy) etc and they did well to withstand the heat. There were also a number of guys wearing morning suits with top hats and cravats - they must have been wilting it was that hot!!!

We walked somewhat round the gardens for a short while but then I began to get tired. There was not a seat to be had, so we made our way back to the hotel. The gardens were ok, but nothing really to write about. Queenie's grass has suffered as a result of the hose pipe ban and it would appear that the recession has even resulted in her "reigning in"! Oh dear Steve, that was an uncalled for pun! But puns aside, I'm sure she'll manage!

As we left Buck House, we were accosted by their 'official photographers'! We were bundled into a corner to stand below the crest on Queenie's gates and without getting any chance to adjust our then dishevelled dress, 2 photos were quickly taken and we were robbed off, errrh charged £20. We got the photos sent to our house a couple of days later. Apparently there's a ladies thing that ladies do when they get their photos taken (ie stand with one shoulder twisted to the camera and one foot in front of the other, it gives you a slimmer silhouette, so I'm told). Pauline did not get the chance to do this - she was not happy!!! And I looked like I'd been in every pub in London and thrown out by every doorman because I was leaning to one side with my cap was cocked just like John Wayne!!! So if anyone wants to see these photos, forget it !!!!

All in all it was surreal and pleasant experience! To think, a grunt like me in Buckingham Palace! Mind you they'll invite anybody these days, even that buffoon Nick Griffin got an invite! I know he couldn't use it in the end, but still! Anyway, let's not go there! Before I sign off I'd like to say a grateful thanks to Sue Ashton who very kindly arranged this trip for us. Sue, we had a fantastic time, thanks very much!

That's all for this time, take care all!

FF Steve Morris.

The fire safety tip is within this blog! See if you can spot it!!!