Hi everyone, Steve here!

In this (my last blog) I'm going to take you all back in time.

Now before you ask, no, we won't get any younger... But there's no harm in wishing though, is there?

I'm doing this in date order to help me make sense of the last four years: First, a little bit about Pauline and myself before the incident; then it's off to hospital; then I'll write a little bit about being back home again, and I'll also write a slice about our wedding do too. And, as an extra added feature, I'll mention my time at this year's burns camp as well, with a fond farewell to Dave Lenagan.

You may notice that I didn't mention the incident itself, this is very personal to me and not for public consumption. I do hope you understand.

Pauline and me

Pauline and I met at Stretford Fire Station in September 2001 where I was stationed at the time. We were hosting a fire station do in aid of the Fire Service Charity.

Pauline came along with her two friends. She says that she was coerced into going by her friends, but I know she went willingly – to meet me! And I can prove this, because she headed straight for me when she came in! Well, I was working behind the bar at the time, this is true, but nevertheless she came straight to me! 'Maybe she just wanted a drink?' I hear you all say! But I say she wanted a bit more, oh yes!

And so I felt it incumbent upon myself to impress her with my bar-steward skills. This involved pouring her a drink of course, which spilled all over the top of her glass (girlie drinks – they're way too fizzy!) So then I offered her some ice, but more to fill the void from the overspill than to be 'proper'. And of course, she said "Yes please!" And so, without the aid of an ice scoop, I had a quick scratch and then delved my hand into the ice bucket (very classy Ste!) and immediately she screamed "EEEEErrhh, no thanks!"

'Fussy, hoity toity so and so' I thought – but I liked her. She was honest, forthright and above all, she didn't want any germs from my hands – sorted! Just the kind of lady I need in my life, one that could drive me up the wall (you know what I'm talking about fellas).

Anyway, much later on, my Posse – two unsuspecting work mates of mine (who didn't take too much convincing) and I – corralled the three ladies onto the dance floor (not too sure where all this cowboy talk has come from, but stick with it, it seems to work) and some songs later, the six of us decided to get another drink. We all began to walk off the dance floor, but with a move that would make any cowboy proud, I spun round and steered Pauline back on the floor for a few more songs and that was that! And we've been together ever since.

For around eight years, we were just another couple who lived together, both working with no children and no dramas. Pauline worked as a Facilities Manager (whatever that is?) for a company in Manchester which took her away from home sometimes, and I as you know worked for the Fire Service.

Then on 23rd June 2008, I went to work on nights while Pauline was working away in Ireland, and it was around six hours into my shift that our lives changed and would never be the same again.

Off to hospital

Initially I was taken to Royal Bolton Hospital, where I was stabilised and stayed there for about three hours. I was told 12 months later by DO Kevan Whitehead (retired) who had gone to the hospital to see me during that time that I was in and out of consciousness. He was trying to establish what had happened and all he could get out of me was "Tell . . . the lads . . . I'll be back on Monday". Now I find this difficult to believe, because I really hated going to work! Just kidding Boss! From Royal Bolton I was taken to Wythenshawe Hospital, where my family had gathered. Pauline was still in Ireland at this point and efforts were being made to contact her. When she was finally contacted, she landed at Manchester airport and phoned my brother-in-law Gary Dewar for an update. He asked the doctors how I was doing (with a view to picking Pauline up from the airport) and they ominously said "I wouldn't leave right now if I was you".

The Incident had left me in a terrible condition and my family and I struggled to cope with this 'massive thing' that had overwhelmed us, a shock to any family as you can imagine. It was especially difficult for my mum (God rest her). She was in her 70's and fighting her own battle at this time with the onset of Alzheimer’s disease. This meant she was in no fit state to be taking calls from unknown people – no matter how good their intentions were.

And so seeing as Gary was in the Fire Service, it naturally fell upon him and my sister to be our family contact point. It was public knowledge straight away and for the days and months that followed, my sister's phone was ringing almost 'off the hook' for information, from the papers and the television, to family and friends, all wanting to know how I was, and all hoping for the best.

The deluge of phone calls and inquiries became too much for my sister Sharon and Gary. And so my mate Carl Haslam (a bit of a wizard with computers) came up with the idea of a blog that could be updated with developments. And so this blog was born to take the pressure off Sharon and Gary, and it's worked brilliantly. Thanks Carlos!

Meanwhile, I lay in hospital and spent seven weeks in a medically-induced coma. I came round and found that I couldn't talk due to the tracheotomy which helped me breathe and to be fed. Some weeks later my throat had repaired itself and I managed to start talking again. Then a month or so down the line, I decided to ask Pauline to be my wife, after all what were we waiting for, another eight years to go by?

So that was it, we would be married as soon as I was well enough to walk her down the aisle... Who was I kidding? It was 10 long months I spent in hospital. Just to stand up took two physios and two nurses! In fact, it literally felt like I had a car engine strapped to my back because of the weight of my body. The effort made my legs tremble and completely stole my breath, I went dizzy, felt sick and my feet were sore because they'd not been stood on for over 12 months – and all this with help from four people!

It took over two months to get me upright without feeling sick and dizzy, and also to actually take my own weight. Then the next challenge was to walk! It became clear to me throughout my stay in hospital that there was more to my injuries than the 50% burns – as one doctor said, my injuries were complex.

In the seventh month I was able to sit for short periods in a wheel chair, a very painful ordeal due to my backside being so badly burned. Eventually things started to get better and on Christmas Day 2008, I was allowed to go home to see my family – just for three hours though.

It was a really strange feeling going home. On the 23rd June, I'd left this house a fully able-bodied firefighter, just going to work on nights for the 'gazillionth' time. And here I was returning on Christmas Day (thankfully), however unable to walk and in a wheelchair with little to show in the way of fingers. I also had drop foot in both feet, ataxia of the muscles, a left elbow which was rigidly fixed at 90 degrees and to top things off, I was left with partial hearing in both ears!. . . AND I had an in-growing toe nail too! (I've never had an ingrowing toe nail before!) Anyway, all in all, not too bad for a nights work, eh!

The day trips home became a regular occurrence. On Fridays, I would leave hospital to return on Saturday night and this arrangement grew into full weekends. I left hospital in the 10th month still in a wheelchair. Home was my next stage of recovery.

Home again

At home, we had to create a safe environment for me, where if I fell, I wouldn't hurt myself too much. We achieved this by de-cluttering and clearing out an area in our dining room where I would live and sleep most of the time. We used deck chairs so that seating could easily be put out of the way – it was pretty stark when I think back.

If I did fall, the first thing I'd do was to throw my hands out to grab for something on the way down. If that failed, I would try to collapse onto my knees (not good for the knees this, so I wouldn't recommend it) to protect my hands. The skin grafts on my hands are paper thin and they take some considerable time to heal if damaged. In a nutshell, falling over is a big 'no no' for me nowadays and is to be avoided – virtually at all costs.

Now, these adjustments to our home worked as well as they could. However, they worked a little too well because what came of being in this relatively safe environment, was a fear that everything outside it was generally 'unsafe', leading me to become a bit of a recluse! But it's been over four years now since the incident that changed everything for me and my family, and I've got a lot better with time and effort. I've also grown steadier on my feet now too, and whilst I still struggle with the stairs and have had the occasional fall, our dining room looks something like it used to before the incident. And it follows that I am more confident outside now too – although, I still prefer someone to be with me when I'm outside as I'm still not great on uneven ground.

Our wedding do

On Saturday 24th September 2011, my wife (Pauline) and I had a 'post' wedding celebration. But it wasn't just for our recent wedding – although that was clearly the theme for the night. It was also to show our family and friends – who had naturally been concerned about us the past three years or so – just how far I'd actually come in my recovery. And that all the kind thoughts, gestures and monies raised from the various charitable events from the very beginning haven't gone to waste, nor will they ever be forgotten.

Because of all the kindness we had received and appreciated, we decided that it was our time to give back in some way. So at our wedding reception, we decided to donate to a charity rather than accept wedding gifts, and asked our guests (if they wished) to do the same. Whatever was raised, we would match it and send the proceeds to a charity called The Healing Foundation. This charity was first set up after the Kings Cross fire in London in 1987 which took so many lives and left many with disfigurements. Its mission is to help those people with disfigurements, whether from a birth defect or a burn injury.

With your help, we managed to raise over £1,600 for The Healing Foundation. This was really wonderful of you – thank you so much for your contributions.

The Burns Camp

As I said, it's been quite some time since the incident and it seems that now is the right time for me to end this blog and move on from this chapter in my life. You may hear on the grapevine that I've taken ill-health retirement now and this is true. But the Fire Service has been in my life for 15 years now and it would be upsetting to leave it completely behind me.

I've been very fortunate in some ways, because I've met some amazing people throughout my journey, in and out of the Fire Service, people with passion and drive to see through something they feel deeply about. One such person is Dave Lenagan.

Dave works for Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service and has done so for the best part of 30 years, but he does so much more than help the community. At the age of two, Dave sustained a burn injury that left him with scars. So when he was growing up, he was all too aware of how something so permanent can affect your confidence and the way in which people can react towards you. As a result of his childhood experiences, Dave got involved with the Burns Camp 15 years ago, with a view to helping burn-injured children gain confidence, learn to achieve and have fun, just like children should do.

After children and their families leave the hospital environment, it's often difficult for them to adjust to life. So once a year, to give the parents a break, their children can have a week of fun and laughter, and learn some life skills along the way too. When Dave first began working at the Camp, there was only one camp per year. Now there are five, with age groups ranging from four to 25 years old, including an American exchange programme and a Family Camp too. The Camps have been established and jointly run with the Royal Manchester Children's Hospital and Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service.

With Dave's dual roles of working for the Fire Service and volunteering at the Burns Camp, he naturally took a keen interest in me and my recovery and first contacted me in 2009, around a year after the incident. His thoughts were to help me by getting my involvement with the Burns Camp. "It'd be good for you and good for the kids", he said. And of course, he was right! But this involvement wasn't immediate; it took me several years to get well enough to even attend! When I did finally get there, I spent three days just following the other volunteers and the kids about! I did speak to the kids quite a bit, but as for doing anything physical, they and the other volunteers ended up helping me! This did feel a bit strange, but hey – It's a start! I'm now looking forward to going again next year.

Farewll Dave Lenagan
This year's the last year that Dave will be running the Camp, and he'll be sorely missed by all the children and Camp volunteers. But he'll still be raising monies to help fund it though, through the Children's Burns Foundation.

My sister Sharon and I always give to a good cause every Christmas rather than buying each other a present, it makes good sense whichever way you look at it. So this year we'll both be donating to the Children's Burns Foundation in each other's names. After all, Christmas is for kids, isn't it?

If you would like to donate to the Children's Burns Foundation this Christmas, or any other time for that matter, find their website by typing this address www.cbf-uk.org/ or just type Children's Burns Foundation in your search engine. Many thanks.

So without further ado, many thanks to Carl Haslam for publishing these blogs for me, and thanks to Gaz Dewar for writing the earlier ones. And as for all the support you've all kindly given over the years, I wouldn't be where I am now without it! Thank you so much!

Ex-FF Steve Morris

One last time: Always make sure you have a working smoke alarm!!